I Got a Phone Call

from a friend today. Went something like this...

TP: Are you going to practice
today?

CE: I
plan to...

(continuous
exchange of banter)

TP:
If you don't go, who's going to tell them about their arms. You said you'd tell
them!

CE:
You can tell them.

TP:
NO! I can't. They won't listen to me. They never do!

I couldn't understand why TP had this thought in her head that she could open her mouth in front of her peers. I mean, it's a group of grown women (I may be giving some of them too much credit) not a bunch of 16-year-old popular girls from high school. We got off the phone but then I couldn't help but wonder, even as adults, does the fear of speaking up still manage to revert some of us back to the stagnant thinking our adolescent years?

Theodore Roosevelt said: "It is better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they know not victory nor defeat. "

Here he speaks of those bridled by the fear of speaking up, those who, in my opinion, lack the assertiveness needed to make themselves heard. My mama used to say that "closed mouths don't get fed" and as a shy kid who seemed to always be in the background, I witnessed that this was certainly true. I can remember being put in some compromising situations simply because I wouldn't (or couldn't as I'd gotten accustomed to believing) say no, stand my ground or express what I try wanted. Needless to say, I grew up and out of the shyness that plagued me although there are some things that I still find myself becoming coy and uneasy about today. However, you'll will not find a time today that Carmie Escabar won't speak out against the things that I deem totally wrong, especially if it's something that will better an entire group of people in the long run.

To be assertive is to be confident in stating your position; it's being strong and pronounced and I find myself tremendously bothered by people who can't do this, who it appears always needs someone else to say what needs to be said. It's such a wonderful feeling to know that as individuals we have the right to say "I don't like that" or "that just doesn't seem to be a good idea" and I can't fathom why a person would consciously make the decision to not exercise that right. Someone said that "When you don't know what you want, you often end up where you don't want to be." Well, I think this also suffices for when you don't SAY what you want. You'll end up God knows where-unhealthy relationships, one-sided friendships or with some tacky wall paint in your livingroom.

This thought just occurred to me: Maybe it is because I refuse to let others lead me blindly that I appear to intimidate.

Well, if this is true, then so be it. I stood in the background and let others make decisions for me way too long. I'm not a pushover and no one will turn me into one.